1.    "You're funny and smart for a girl." OMG thank you! I hope to rise above the ranks and someday be considered smart for a human, but this is a great pleasure.

2.    "Girls all want to marry rich." Some girls want to marry rich. Other girls want to marry the person they love, whether he is rich or poor or an alien who uses peacock feathers as currency. And other girls don't want to get married! So like, that's how that works.

3.    "Women can't drive." We don't have, like, giant tampons for heads. Don't be a moron.

4.    "I don't get why women love a*****es." Yeah, actually, that whole thing where you pretend to be a dick to make women like you will only work on women who don't like themselves. And that's doomed to fail, really.

5.    "Men are more rational, and women are more emotional." And cats like the color red, and dogs will only listen to Jason Derulo, and that ficus bush is your cousin. Oh, I thought we were making nonsense statements.